Quiet People. Wolves in sheep clothing's?

    In life, especially if you’ve lived over 12 years of age, you’re most likely to come across that category of persons who do not typically engage in or contribute significantly to group conversations. You never find them in out-spoken arguments, they’d rather read a book than go out partying, they enjoy solitude, usually soft-spoken, think before speaking, appear calm and self contained, care less about fame or status and are usually great listeners. These are quiet people or better referred to as introverts.

        We all have one opinion or the other about them, but they are mostly associated with mean things. In fact I heard this recently. After mass on Sunday, I waited in the car for Mumsy while she went about her

business, from one after-mass meeting to the other. Two ladies, who were apparently waiting for someone too leaned on the car, seriously engaged in their discussion, oblivious of the fact that I was inside and could hear them clearly. I wasn’t really paying attention to their gist until I heard this, “…..that is what I’ve been trying to tell you na, all these quiet people, fear them o. They will be acting as if they don’t know what they are doing or how to talk, but the day they want to show you their true colour, you’ll be shocked. If you make any mistake of trusting them, that’s when you’ll know joke (as in “funny joke”) and Joke (as in “someone’s name like the actress Joke Sylvia”) are not the same thing. Very wicked people, I can never have anything to do with them, wolves in sheep clothing. ……”

        After listening to this, initially it was funny, but then it got me wondering, are quiet people really all those things? Amanda Shofner defines introversion and extroversion as what we need to recharge. While an introvert needs solitude to recharge as being around people for extended periods can be quite exhausting, extroverts need to be around people because for them, people energize them. So, it’s possible to be outgoing whether your introverted or extroverted but an out-going introvert is still going to need solitude after a long day of being around people. Based on this definition, I am “somewhat” of an introvert and I would hardly describe myself as wicked, evil or a pretender. There are times when I don’t want to talk too much and I enjoy my solitude. But when one is like this or extremely introverted, there tend to be so many misunderstandings on so many levels. In this part of the world, the most common misunderstanding is when people assume that you “form” a lot.  Most times quiet people are considered snobs, stuck-up, anti-social, uptight, weird, strange, arrogant, shy, boring etc. and because most people like to take advantage of quiet people, when they eventually stand up for themselves, they are considered pretenders and wicked people.

         But they aren’t really all these things. Living in a culture that tends to value extroverted qualities like outspokenness  over solitude and quiet contemplation, these people are just being misunderstood and often feared. According to Jess, the misunderstanding often arises because what people don’t know about you, they tend to fill the gap with rumours and gossips. They are feared because, you know, people tend to be naturally creeped out by the unknown. Caroline stated and I perfectly agree, the idea that introverts are anti-social or don’t like people is false. They just enjoy it in a different way than extroverts do. Although they prefer one-on-one interaction, they may also enjoy large parties but may want to rather sit and watch the action from the sidelines. Extroverts may interpret this as not wanting to have fun, but this observation is fun for an introvert.

                It is wrong to put a negative label on people for being who they are. Being quiet isn’t bad, it is a very attractive quality often times, and is not something that needs to be changed or fixed. It is not a personality disorder. Bill gates, Abraham Lincoln, Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, Meryl Streep, Christina Aguilera, Steve Martin, Clint Eastwood and a host of others were/are all introverts—look where it got them!

Do you agree with this? I would love to read your thoughts below

@rajeteng

rajeteng@gmail.com