WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T EXPECT FROM A BREAKUP

            Breakups happen all the time. Whether it is two people in love growing less fond of each other, or two people travelling apart from each other, or via the interference of a third party, whatever the case, all roads almost always lead to the same destination- breakup! It is never a rosy affair and always leaves one or both parties hurt. Dealing with this hurt is different for both sexes and who broke up with who, as well as individual personalities play a vital role in the expected reaction.

            Now, while the reaction is almost always predictable with women, it is never the case with

men. When females hurt, they tend to be relatively more emotionally expressive. So, with a breakup (especially if she was still in love and he did it), you expect a sober attitude, for her to demand for an explanation, probably fight for him if another lady is involved. You expect lots and lots of crying, expression of anger and possibly short term hatred. Ladies almost always display one or more of these attitudes. Men on the other hand can’t be as predicted as their female counterparts. They are not as expressive with their emotions and typically don’t want to show their weaknesses. I guess it comes with masculinity. It depends on his personality though, the proud guy may come off as strong and unbothered, while the not-so-proud emotional guy may resort to silence or a subtle demand for explanations, after which it’s the usual “I understand, no problem” line.  

            There is nothing wrong with these typical reactions except that when a lady breaks up with a guy, a seemingly lack of emotional display on his part often translates to “he never loved me”. It makes her wonder if whatever they shared together was of any meaning to him or a total waste of time. Because to her, if it was, then the whole place should be decorated with a variety of fancy and dark feelings.  When this doesn’t happen, the feelings seem to be one-sided and the reality of facts tend to be a little hazy.

            Picture this, boy and girl have been dating for more than two years, girl “for whatever reason” loses interest in guy, breaks up with him, he just says okay, and although she says it’s not her intention to hurt him, she’s unhappy he doesn’t appear hurt. Can you beat that? I mean first of all, she says she doesn’t want to hurt him, but when he acts as if he’s not hurt, she begins to question the authenticity of the past-the past she just threw away. I really don’t get us females sometimes. We’re so complicated.

            Anyway, one thing is sure, if you guys dated for a good amount of time and you were happy for most of the time, then he definitely loved you and was definitely hurt that you broke off with him. But he can’t show it, and even if he could, if he chooses not to, that’s still acceptable. By right, he shouldn’t even show it, why should you be allowed to eat your cake and have it? After you break his heart into a million pieces, you expect him to string along with “friendship?”. Not many men tolerate this especially if they still love the girl in question. It’s even worse when you get boyfriend very quickly after the breakup (probably in less than 2 months). Getting a boyfriend so quickly and expecting him to understand is stupid. He hasn’t gotten over it yet, remember? Besides its common sense that at this point, acting like you care so much is because you want to feel less guilty about what you did. Why should he be obligated to give you that pleasure?

            So, bottom line, when you break up with a guy, do not expect any kind of reaction. Do not question your past based on his present reaction or lack of one. Deep down, you’ll know a guy who loved you while it lasted. If he wants to fight for you, he will, if not, he won’t. He may just be having difficulty deciding how to act now that his heart has been replaced by a million pieces.