FORGET ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY, ITS GONNA BE GOOD ENOUGH- JUST GIVE IT A TRY

There are so many times, countless times I’ve doubted myself and what I have to offer. Take for instance, before I started typing this, I spent the last 30 minutes trying to type my experience and all the mishaps that occurred today, but then I was like, what d heck! Who wants to read about my boring annoying day. That, in itself is a form of self doubt, having second, third, fourth and fifth thoughts about whatever ideas you have to offer because you feel its never going to be good enough.

Quite frankly, I’m usually surprised and almost jealous whenever I meet people that have proven to be as confident as Hercules. They are usually bet-on, bold, brave and convinced about what they want. What’s there not to envy, who doesn’t want to be so cocksure about themselves? Of course, we all do. E. Cummings once said that "once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit. "

Truth be told, I’m not such a confident gal, in fact I’m so far down that road. So, I can’t come here and preach to you about confidence and self realization when the log in my eye is still hanging loose. However, if I told you I buy the idea that there are people who have “never” doubted themselves at one point in time in their lives, I’ll be lying and the truth is not in me. I may not be correct but let me dare to say that every human passes through that awkward phase of caring about what others think, or even doing things to please others.  Its just that, while some people accept it for what it is - a phase - and move on from there, others tend to dwell in that phase for longer than necessary. 

So, analyzing this, we all fall into one of these categories. Its either you are very confident, in transition (either forward or backward) or totally insecure and they all have one thing in common, they have all been insecure before. In the words of Therese Borchard, no one can possibly be perfect, even the most confident person, the prettiest, the most popular person, "has looked at themselves from the perspective of someone else- perhaps a person with no appreciation of their talents, personality traits, abilities- and judged themselves unfairly according to the perverted view". The difference however between these categories of people is that while the confident person does not dwell on his shortcomings and acknowledges his strengths, the insecure fellow constantly wines and dines in his imperfections, is vulnerable and easily shaped by the views, opinions and ideas of others. Those in transition realize their place on the “self-doubt chart”, they see it’s not where they want to be in the nearest future and they put in efforts, committed to get themselves out of that rut. Now that’s a forward transition. It is backward transition when you’re at the peak of your of self esteem, and because of some seemingly distraught events, you gradually build a fence of unhealthy self-doubt around you. Nobody ever wants this because while the emotionally secure person has that type of happiness that is not very shaken by the major disturbances in the pattern or fabric of their life, the insecure person by way of just being insecure can trigger a chain reaction of so many negativities. Inferiority complex, feeling of worthlessness and rejection, social withdrawal, isolation, arrogance, bullying (or being the victim of bullying) etc are some typical examples. Because they are uncertain about their own values, they can’t stand up for themselves. These destructive feelings can break a person down bit by bit. It is never a good feeling and no one deserves to feel this way.

I want to believe I have a place in the category of someone in a forward transition. This is because for me, everyday is another opportunity to believe that I CAN. And because I want so desperately to get out of this phase and get to the top, I have been able to educate myself about the things that matter. I’ve come to realize that, in the words of Jodi Picoult, “when you are different, sometimes don’t see the millions of people that accept you for who are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t”. So, I don’t have to be different just to fit into the individual worlds of the world. It’s never worth it. I can unfold my own myth, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Lao Tzu once said that “because one believes in one’s self, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with one’s self one doesn’t need others’ approval and Because one accepts one’s self, the whole world accepts him or her.”

So, accepted. The road to emotional and psychological stability is tough, and striving for perfection is never easy. But if I can try, so can you. Forget the world, don't listen to their judgements, they’ll sort themselves out- they always do- and because nobody knows you better than you, just be YOU and work on yourself where necessary. Whatever you do will be good enough. Ch33rs!