We can't change somethings

I know what I’m about to discuss happens to everyone (atleast most people), not because I have facts or proof, but because I refuse to believe it happens to just me in this good-for-something world.

Our physical features contribute immensely to our personality, so we all want to look good, feel great about our appearances, and receive compliments. Infact, if we all had our way, there’ll be no “comma” in our looks. For ladies, we’d choose to have the most beautiful face, perfect full and long hair, flawless skin/complexion, killer smile with perfect dentition, killer figure-8,  perfect hips, boobs and bum size, desired height etc. For guys, they’d have

the most handsome faces, desired height, desired complexion , perfectly ripped abs, desired p**** size etc. the list is endless. But you see, it’s quite unfortunate we do not have our ways. Yeah, yeah, I know, you like yourself just the way you are. But I also know that if God were to give you a chance to alter two things about your physical appearance, you’d beg to alter five if not more, so please tell that to those that care to listen.

Every now and then, there’s something about us we don’t like. There’s an endless list, Its either we are too dark, too fair, short, too tall, too slim, too fat, have eyes too big, cheeks too fat (hehehe…that’s me. People won’t just stop telling me how small they are.), head too big, ears too long/big, ass too flat/ massive, boobs too small/big, tummy to big, face not fine or face too fine (yes, there are some people that are not happy they are too fine) etc. I’ve also realized that disliking these features of ours usually manifest in different patterns depending on the individual. Today you might love your big eyes, but the next day you hate it; or you love your big eyes today, tomorrow you still love it but this time around you hate your brown hair; or this week you love everything about yourself but next week, you can’t see what you loved about yourself in the first place. 

These patterns of self love may be influenced by happenings around us. Take for instance, last week, everywhere you went to, you got people staring at you with their “ I-admire-you” eyes, all your “fans” wanted to be around you and you were just getting favours from all corners. But this week, you seem kinda invisible to even your biggest fan.  When this happens, it’s only natural to have felt good about yourself/appearance last week but question your features this week. Anyway, before you question you looks, you should realize that these people, your so-called fans, also have problems and cannot worship at your feet every single day. Take it when you see it, lack of it doesn’t make you any less different from how you were when you were getting the attention.

It is one thing to feel like you should look better than you already do, and it’s another thing to handle or deal with this feeling. For some people, it’s just one of life’s short-comings and it doesn’t matter, but for others, not feeling good about themselves can drive them into depths of depression. They have so many feelings bottled-up inside and cannot share with anyone because they feel ashamed and embarrassed, their self esteem is quite low, they isolate themselves, they can’t do most of what their friends are doing, and they are very sensitive about their appearance (you dare not joke about it or you’ll be digging their grave further).

I believe it is okay to feel this way every now and then. It only makes you human (because we all do). Some people are fortunate enough to have their flaws hidden from the rest of the world and so appear to be all perfect on the outside, but don’t be deceived, there’s something about them they are uncomfortable with. They’re just lucky enough to not have it stamped on their faces. You may not be so lucky but it doesn’t make you any less different. I read this somewhere (can’t remember) and I agree, make yourself look as good as you can and be content.

I believe that thinking outside the box works like magic, you don’t have to be the society’s definition of good-looking to make the most out of life. What you need is a pinch of very healthy self confidence and every other thing just falls in place. With self acceptance and positive attitude towards one’s self, it attracts everything you need to live a happy and fulfilling life. There are so many ‘not-so-good-looking’ people out there that are immensely loved by the world and that’s because they accepted themselves and capitalized on what they had. There’s no need to feel it’s unfair to have those features you dislike, infact, it’s a life lesson and you should see it as such- you can’t have everything you want, but you can be the best with what you have.