What you have to do if he must let go

     When two people are commensurately in love with each other, the feeling is bliss and quite soothing. It is tender, lovely and fills gaping holes from within to without. Very few things in the world can compare to the mad, passionate fulfillment that being in love with the right person can offer.

      However, it takes two to tango. Not a quarter of this feeling is derived if only one partner is contributing most of the love (feeling the groove), and it can be quite suffocating if  you happen to be the other partner who is not feeling the groove but you have to constantly keep up appearances, pretending to be happy.

      Most females can relate to this, you want to let him go, but he won’t just lay off. He’s not taking no for an answer and he won’t let everything he’s invested in both of you just go down the drain, because he loves you. While this display of determination, strong-will and persistence may be attractive to some women and most likely change their mindsets, to others it may come off as a turn off and can be quite irritating.  

Common Mistake women make

When you want to break off with your man, stirring up unwanted drama (see 8 signs she wants you to break up with her) just to get him off your back doesn’t always make the cut, especially for someone stubborn who believes you’re his soul
mate. Not everybody easily lets go, especially If they aren’t convinced to, so picking up unnecessary quarrels or telling one lie after the other shouldn’t be your best bet.

Your best bet

While this has a 30% percent chance of not working, it is still your surest bet to getting him off your back. I’m talking about honesty and not bothering to twist the truth. He hasn’t gotten around to setting you free because you haven’t given him a good reason to, and doing this means categorically telling him WHY you don’t want the relationship anymore.

How to do this without breaking his heart

If you are worried about how to do this without breaking his heart, forget it! If he has done nothing but love you, then as far as this breakup is concerned, you’re going to smash his heart to pieces whether you make the mistake of stirring up needless drama or you’re honest about your intentions upfront. Either ways, he’s going to get hurt and you’re going to be the “bad guy”, so brace yourself. But look at it this way, the sooner you smash it, the sooner his healing process. It may be brutal to break a man’s heart, but what is even more cruel is several weeks of heart-stabbing, lies, fights, disrespect, sleepless nights and what have you. It’s okay to give a few hints so that letting him down won’t be a shock, but don’t make a journey of it, he’d rather die once than a thousand painful times.

What to do

Get your act together and communicate effectively to him. Be prepared with sincere answers and try to be as articulate with your words as you can.

Tell him in clear, simple words that you want to break up (not in a rude tone). The usual response would be “why?”.

Classic answers like “it’s not about you, you’re perfect, it’s about me” or “you deserve better” or “you’re not a member of my church” or “I can’t give you what you need” or “you’re too good for me” are just common excuses that insult a man’s intelligence. He deserves to get some closure after the break-up and the least you can do tell him the truth.

If you’ve met someone else, tell him you have and the reasons why you prefer the other person, if you want a more mature person (emotionally, physically, sexually or financially), then just say so in the best way you can. Tell him how much thought you’ve put into this, why you think it’ll make you a happier person and why you’re not going to change your mind.

This decision to break up should be straight forward, it’s either you want to or you don’t. So don’t leave any false hopes like “maybe in the future when I figure things out we can get back together”.

                Breaking up may be one of the hardest things to do especially when it is not mutual, but the good (or bad) news is that it has to be done, otherwise an unhealthy and unhappy relationship will drag on for a really long time.

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